Valentine's Gift Ideas Based Upon the Length of Your Relationship

Deciding what gift to give for Valentine's Day can be a challenge regardless of what stage you are in a relationship. Romantic dinners at home or a restaurant are still in order. Flowers never fail. But there is still so much more you can do. Bottom line if you are involved- just don’t forget the day.

Oh and if you are still a little early in the relationship and you’re not sure if you are doing a gift exchange – just ask. Don’t assume anything. This way you are both clear on what to expect.

One month or less

• A simple card (watch what you say – don’t over do the mushy stuff, it’s too early).

• 3 to 6 Months

• Specialty baked goods such as brownies cookies

• Candy still works (make it something exotic or interesting)

• Journals or stationary

• Books

• Music

• Instructional audio book or Mp3 (Be mindful of the type of self-help guide of choice, you don’t want to seem like you are trying to ‘fix’ the other person).

6 Months or more

• Picture frames (with pictures of the two of you)

• Any type of special gift that reflects something or time you’ve experienced in during relationship.

• Gift cards with meaning (someplace you KNOW they’ll really enjoy)

1-Year or more

• Jewelry (men and women)

• Clothing

• Cufflinks

• Jewelry (did I already say that? Okay well then yeah after a year it’s time for some bling!)

Married

• No kitchen equipment for women.

• No tools for men.

• Look for something that might spark memories of a meaningful time or occasion for the two of you.

• Sexy underwear (Ladies buy it and wear it for him!)

• Spa treatments (Guys it for her – or hey, you can make it a couple thing!)

A Great Guide to Party Planning

As the holiday season approaches, you are probably thinking about hosting a nice soiree at your home. The key is to set the stage for your guests and plan ahead so it will be a memorable occasion. My advice is to always think quality instead of quantity. It’s better for you to host an exquisite event for a small number of people instead of big blowout bash where you end us skimping on the food, decor, and seating (oh my)!

I have created a simple checklist to help you plan your party accordingly that will leave you enough time to spend enjoying your guests. Download this FREE party planning guide and get started on putting together your beautiful soiree!

Cheers!

Tis' The Season for Holiday Office Parties | Do's and Dont's

The holiday season is in full swing and the office parties are plenty. Here are some Do's and Dont's for this holiday season to ensure that you have wonderful time and are not the target of office chatter.

DON’Ts

No Twerking Allowed!- Last holiday season there was a situation that went viral when an office manager went rogue and over did it on the dancefloor. You want to keep your reputation intact, so save the suggestive dancing for the night clubs.

No Inappropriate Conversations- This is NOT the time to air “dirty office laundry” or ask for a raise, since you are in the presence of upper management that you would not typically have access to. Keep the conversations neutral and remember that  politics, religion, and money should not be discussed at all in this setting.

Don’t Over Do The Gift-Giving- Do not try to outdo your coworkers with gift giving or give elaborate gifts in hopes of some type of workplace compensation. Follow the guidelines given from the organizer in regards to gift giving.

Don’t Dress Too Provocatively- The rule of thumb is if you have to question it, do not wear it. You will never live it down. Let’s save the short bodycon dress or the down-to-there  button down shirt for the club scene. If you are unsure of the dress code, ask!

Don’t Be A Wallflower - Take advantage of the opportunity to let others get to know you outside of the standard work environment. You might make a new friend!  Standing in the corner and being standoff-ish is not the way to engage with others at this work event.

DO’S

Please RSVP- The organizer of the event is counting on you, literally. They need to know who all is attending for accurate orders for food, drinks, and favors. RSVPing takes less than 2 minutes. Just do it.

Make sure you attend- As much as you probably do not want to spend extra time with coworkers- make an appearance! The organizer may say this is an optional event, however it is not. Your absence will absolutely be noticed.

Be Present And In The Moment- It is perfectly fine to document the occasion with photos and videos however, hold off on posting to social media until the event has ended.

Be Mindful of Arrival/Exit Times- Early arrivals and late departures can upset the flow of the organizers. Generally speaking show up to the event 5-10 minutes after the posted the posted time and as far as leaving goes, go with the flow. If you notice other people wrapping it up, follow suit.

Enjoy A Holiday Drink-  It is socially acceptable to enjoy a drink or two at your holiday office party. The key word there is TWO. Do not exceed two drinks during the holiday office party. Everyone may be fully aware that you are an expert at the keg-stand, but this is not the place to show your tolerance for alcohol.  Enjoy yourself and avoid being the hot topic on Monday morning.

Enjoy your holiday season!

Trick or Treat Manners

Halloween is just around the corner! Before we dress up our superheros and princesses, check out these tips on trick or treat manners.

Tips For Parents

1.  This is a great opportunity to help your child practice good manners. Practice using kind words and phrases in advance.
2. Teach your child to respect other people's property. Tell them not to cut through shrubbery and across your neighbors lawns. Use sidewalks and designated walking space. 
3. Practice ringing the doorbell and knocking on doors at thome. Tell  your child to ring the doorbell or knock on the door just once. Ringing the bell several times or knocking insistently is rude and not very neighborly.
4. Teach your child to say " Yes, Please " when verbally offered candy or treats. They should also know to say " Thank You" when they receive a treat  or are complimented on their costume.

If You Are NOT Handing Out Candy:

1. Leave your porch light OFF. During trick-or-treat hours this is an universal sign saying " There is no candy here". Also, most parents won't allow their children to approach a darkened home.
2. Leave a sign on the door. If you live in an apartment building or complex and the hallway is lit, you can leave a friendly sign on the door stating that you are not handing out candy.

Treat Giving Do's and Dont's

DON'T GIVE:

1. Home baked goods. You will be wasting your time and money. Parents will just throw these items out. 
2. Unwrapped treats. In order for parents to consider the treat safe, it must be sealed and wrapped from the manufacturer.
3. Fruits. We've all heard the scary stories of razor blades in apples and such. I guarantee you, if you give out fruit, it will most likely be thrown away.
4. "Healthy" snacks. Fiber bars and granola bars just don't go over well for kids as halloween treats.

DO GIVE:

1. Candy(the good stuff). Kids like candy for kids. Stay away from grown up candies like Almond Roca and such.
2. If you just can't bring yourself to hand out candy to the children, here are some suggestions:
   1. Stickers
   2. Temporary Tattoos
   3. Small toys such as rings, whistles etc. Generally, anything you would put into a goodie bag for a child's birthday party.  ** This is also a great option if you want to have something to give the children who may have special dietary needs and can't eat candy**

I hope you all have a wonderful time trick-or- treating this year and be safe!

Manners at Mealtime: 5 Quick Tips for Kids

It is important for us, as parents, to teach our children right now how to use proper decorum during family dinner time. Here are 5 ways you can help your kids succeed.

1. Start now

I advise parents to start with proper mannerisms at the table now. The best way to navigate the table setting is to practice, practice, practice. So right now, have your child help with setting the table. This will help them identify what their own place setting looks like when you are out and about.

2. Rehearse mannerisms on a regular basis

Practice their actual table manners. It is not a good time to train your child when guests are coming over or the family is going out for dinner. So, spend some time at home sitting down at the table and eating dinner together. Additionally, teach them to reverence times of prayer and words of expression respectfully.

3. Ban Technology

Make table time from here on out a technology-free zone. Sometimes we want to use our phones or tablets to entertain children but in reality such activities are retarding their social skills. It’s important for our children to learn how to eat and converse along with adults at the table. We should not allow our kids to “checkout” of the conversation and dinner that’s at hand while they focus on their electronic devices. We want to instead draw them into what is taking place.

4. Have a signal that says, “You’re out of line”

The best way a parent can correct a certain sort of behavior without drawing too much attention to the mistake itself is to right now think of some sort of signal that you can use to let your child know that they’re out of line. Some of us, growing up, remember getting “the look” that would cause us to sit up straight. In the same manner, create some sort of signal (i.e., touching the side of your nose, touching your chin, tapping the table) to let them know that they need to settle down.

5. Avoid embarrassment at all cost

If you do have to come out and correct the mistake, it’s important to not harshly chastise your child in front of other people because you certainly don’t want to embarrass them. If you can’t seem to get their attention, and maybe their behavior is just a little too far out of check, then excuse yourself and the child from the table without making a big fuss about it. Have a little talk with them and come back to the table when the issue is resolved. Don’t chastise in front of others because sometimes bad behavior coupled with embarrassment just equals more bad behavior from the child. 

For Parents With Teens: A Guide to Proper Headphone Etiquette

Teenage life revolves around headphones and earbuds these days. Every time you turn around, it seems that your child has speakers attached to his ears. While it is important for kids to explore the arts and develop creativity, it is essential that they stay engaged with society. Here, then, are a few ways to gauge your teen’s use of headphones and earbuds.

When use is appropriate

1. Headphones are certainly appropriate to use in places where you do not want to disturb someone else. If your teen is with you at the doctor’s office, that’s a time where you certainly want to let them use headphones.

2.Traveling is also a good time to pop in earbuds. This includes trains, planes and automobiles.

When use is not appropriate

1.During face-to-face conversations. It is always polite to give the person in front of you undivided attention. In terms of headphones and earbuds, this means removing both speakers from your ears. Also, advise your teen to use good eye contact in these instances.

2. Never use headphones and earbuds at the table regardless of whether the meal is breakfast, lunch or dinner.

It is important to...

Set guidelines so that your child knows that there are times when they are not allowed to use headphones or earbuds at all. An example would be at grandma’s house when everyone is in the living room. It is in these instances that your child should engage in the conversation at hand.

Parents should not allow their children to find an escape from social gatherings through headphones and earbuds. It is rude for a person to be completely disconnected from their surroundings. Teens, therefore, need to be visible and active contributors to discussions during family events.

Keep them engaged by...

Drawing them into the conversation on a consistent basis. This will allow them to get used to engaging with adults. Too often, we as parents take our children’s “escape” from society through headphones as an opportunity to break away from rearing. We should, however, make sure that they are developing communication skills by constantly involving them in the conversation at hand.  

Manners, Measles and Playdates

For years and years here in the US having your child vaccinated was a standard in child rearing for most parents. More recently, more families are making the decision to not have their child vaccinated for a variety of reasons. We must certainly respect the position of a parent’s decision whether they have their child vaccinated or not.  Since we had a measles outbreak a while back, parents who choose to vaccinate their children are still trying to figure out how to politely deal with a variety of social situations. One situation is that of taking on a playdate with your child’s new friend. If this is a first-time playdate you should ask before you accept the invitation. This way you don’t have figure out how to maneuver out of the date and cancel.  Here are 3 questions I receive quite often and my answers to how to best deal with manners and measles and playdates.

1. How can I politely ask a parent if their child has been vaccinated without offending them?
There are some questions we’ll have to ask of individuals and no matter how hard we try, there is a strong possibility they may be offended. So, the key is to recognize that and try not focus on trying to be a wordsmith with your question. Too many words and over explaining can make it a bit messy and your true point can get lost. Keep it as simple as possible. I do suggest, you are mindful of your tone of voice and the actual words you choose so it doesn’t sound like an interrogation. Make your line of questioning more about you and your choices and less about them.  Here’s an example of what you can say. “I surely don’t mean to offend you but since this is the first time our kids are having a play date, this is something that’s very important to me so I thought I’d ask. I’d like to know, has little Johnny has been vaccinated?”

Once they have answered, if you learn their child is not vaccinated, take your time to make an informed decision. Thank the parent for sharing and let them know you’ll be in touch about the playdate.

2. What if the other parent responds negatively because I’ve questioned them?
Simply acknowledge their feelings, apologize and explain your position in a brief manner. Don’t try to lecture them about your beliefs or question their parenting choices. You can say something like, “Yes I hear you and I do apologize. I surely don’t want to make you feel badly. This has nothing to do with little Johnny or you as a parent. This really is more about me and my personal concerns.

3. What if I decide I don’t want my child to play with their child? 
If you decide not to go on with the playdate because the child is not vaccinated, don’t get on a soapbox, and air out a laundry list of reasons. You can say, “I apologize, but I’ve decided, I don’t feel comfortable bringing little James over for the playdate. I hope you can understand my position.” Etiquette is about putting others at ease. Therefore, your goal is to inform the parent of your choice and put forth an effort to maintain a cordial relationship moving forward.